A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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Whats the worst way to find out your married. Hungover

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Why was the young black boy kicked out of his classroom? Because the manner of his actions were inexcusable.

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Horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The horse unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

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A man walks into a bar, and spends all his money because he is an alchoholic.

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What do you call a white man in the middle of Mexico City? Dave.

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What did the bat say to the human? Nothing because bats make too high of frequency noises for humans to understand

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Why couldn't Paul see. He got stabbed in the eye by two mexicans

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What do you get when you add a cucumber some vinegar some salt and you get..... Macaroni and cheese

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What happens when you mix a black guy and a chinese guy. A disfigured man

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A priest, an iman, a rabbi, a bishop and a Dalai Lama walk into a bar. Because they were of different faiths, racial slurs were thrown back and forth until they all left. They spent the rest of the night and most of the following day unhappy.

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Gary Busey walk into a bar. Everyone Ran out noticing the potential danger.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman

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Your mother is so stupid that she has trouble discerning certain facts from fiction.

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Whats sad about a city bus full of black people exploding. NOTHING

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What is small and gives people courage? Certain kinds of illegal drugs

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what did the cat say to the monkey meow then he got hit by a car

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Why was the black man hand cuffed by a woman cop? Because they are a married couple who feel like role play will help spark their sex life again.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? Probably one. Replacing a light-bulb is a pretty simple task which any person (regardless of ethnicity) should be able to do without assistance.

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What do you call a comedian who can;t make people laugh? A bad comedian.

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

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Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It died. Q: Why did the snake fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird. Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

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What did the rapist say before the little girl got in the van? Get in the van

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. Jill was dehydrated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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