An Irish man walks into a bar. He then sits down and enjoys his favorite drink.

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What did one homo say to the other? Well, the politically correct term is homosexual, and he didn't say anything because they've never met.

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What's black and blue and lives in a kitchen? A 1940's housewife.

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"I like my women like I like my coffee, in a cup." -Paul Alangadan

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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a hobo begs and begs for a dollar to buy something. a man finally gives him a dollar. what does the hobo buy? nothing. he walked into 711 and got shot.

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Random Guy: "Oh god, why was I born with so much common sense?" God: "You must be mistaken, or else you wouldn't be asking me."

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A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

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there is a black guy riding a bicycle. he is extremely skilled on it and says he has never fallen off.

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F: what is BLUE and has 400 whells ? Q: NOTHING !!!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face", the horse said nothing; because it is a horse.

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What do you call a guy who died in a stampede? Grandpa.

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Why was the boy afraid of the dark? he was blind

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A blind man walks into the girls bathroom.

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What did the midget say to the leprechaun? Nothing.....midgets don't usually converse with leprechauns....and leprechauns aren't real.

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing.

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Q: What do the Terms of Service say? A: I dont know, I didnt read them.

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I am not racist., I have a black man in my family tree! He is still hanging there

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Hey, I just met you... No, I'm your brother. You've known me for 30 years. You must have memory loss.

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What did Anne Frank say to the Nazis who found her? Please be gentle.

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What did Osama bin Laden say to the Navy SEALS? Nothing. There was insufficient time to hold a conversation before they shot him in the face.

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What does tupperware and a walrus have in common? they both like a tight seal

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Whats worse then getting stabbed in the trachea by a aids infected knife? getting pounded anally by satan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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