Fitzsimmons. We met at your wife's work party.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you get when you rub 2 redheads together? Fire.

thumb_up thumb_down

If a vegetarian only eats vegetables, then what does a humanitarian eat?

thumb_up thumb_down

Why really answer a question when you can just respond, "because you touch yourself." For example, Q: Why did fluffy die? A: Because you touch yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down

you know whats funny... nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you know what time it is in the dark? Turn on the light and look at the clock.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

thumb_up thumb_down

maths is annoying!!! LIKE if you agree!!!!! :D

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Polite say "Hey you, get out of that tree."

thumb_up thumb_down

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q: Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the mentally challenged man enter the bar? He's tired of being subject hate and criticism. He hates being the subject of jokes and being pointed at. He may not be able to tell you what 3x6 is, but he still has feelings. So because of all these inconsiderate people judging him, he now spends his days at the local bar, drowning his sorrows away in alcohol. I hope your happy.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is the difference between a rat and an italian? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down

Hey I just met you And I am crazy So I will kill you And eat your body

thumb_up thumb_down

What is invisible, weighs 332 pounds, runs 67.3 mph, is green, and is made by Jews in China. Nothing, if something is invisible, then it cannot reflect green light, therefore it cannot be green.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roey Jegen

thumb_up thumb_down

A man decides to go hunting in the woods with a shotgun, he is going through the woods and a bear randomly pops out of no where, knocks him down and rapes him. So the next day he came back with an even bigger shotgun and said, "i am going to kill this bear" so he goes through the woods, the bear comes out of nowhere, knocks him down and rapes him again. So he comes back the next day with and even bigger shotgun and says, " i am going to kill this bear, skin it, and eat it" so hes going through the woods and out comes the bear, knocks him down, gets real close to his face and says, "you dont come out here for the hunting do ya".

thumb_up thumb_down

Anything involving women..

thumb_up thumb_down

;aosughdfo

thumb_up thumb_down

P.E.N.I.S P-enis E-nis N-is I-s S

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm extremely unstable. And So are you.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

If E = cos[(6x+8) + 5x!] + tan(90-X)^2, and x = 137/43, what is E? The fifth letter of the alphabet.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock! Who's there? Boo! Boo who? Aww, don't cry!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops