theres a giant burning orb in the sky and it can burn your flesh, it can give you diseases, it can kill you, looking directly at it causes physical pain, and we all think this is okay. we like this orb. we like to go outside and lie around on our backs when this orb is in the sky. children draw cute pictures of this levitating death orb with a smiley face on it. what is wrong with us

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The Christian prayed every night to God for a new bike. He kept it up for a year. Finally, he got a bike for his birthday.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one being irish and the other chinese. now they both happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china, where as the chinese man had not committed any crime.

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Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

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-What did the duck say to Federico Costa nearby the phonebox in a rainy day? -Quack

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what does the nba stand for? Nothing But Africans

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violets are blue, my name is Dave. this poem makes no sense. microwave.

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What do you call a blue baby at the bottom of a pool? Dead.

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Whats Black and White and Red all over? A white boy who just got jumped, with sever bruises left lying in a pool of his own blood.

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A man walks into a bar Ouch He broke his penis So he ate it Then he saw a little boy They shaved their pubic hair together He raped the little boy He walked into another bar Double ouch

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What do a Penguin, and your best friend have in common? They'll both die if you shoot them in the head.

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What happened after jimmy cheated on a test. Jimmy went home.

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What happens when a rabbit is late for a very important date? Nothing, rabbits have no logical way to keep track of time.

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roses are red violets are blue im in class

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A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? Nobody, the car is parked while they look at a map for directions because doing that while you are driving would be very dangerous and could result in a collision.

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hi im phill

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why did the man fall off his bike? He got shot by the navy seals, He was a highly decorated terrorist.

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So a man walks into a bar, He says, "Hey bartender! Can I have some beer?" The bartender says, "Sure!" and hands the man a Bud Light. The man drinks the Bud Light and leaves afterward.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven looked angry and had a gun.

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears Because he's a rabbit

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How many immature people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 69

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a pleasant evening as they talk to each other about their day over a relaxing drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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