What is worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your worm!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the boy's face red? He put his cat in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. I'm not sure, because there are many farmers on this earth, and finding the same one that you are talking about, may be hard. It may take a while, but i'll get back to you as soon as possible, with an anwser.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

so your skydiving in the ocean and one of you bedroom windows break. how many bloodstains does it take to paint a peice of bread covered in goat milk? the answer is D. 2731 books on cannabalism

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did Jesus REAREAREAREVENAGNCEREALLY SAY when he was walkin on da waterz? And I bless this object which shalth now be known as the surfboard, Amen. Seriously, im a Christian, that sounds kinda cute in a weird way... Like aww, thats why he walked on water, not because of terrifying super powers.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A young blonde walks into a bar and orders a shot of tequila. After about a few minutes she spots this very ugly man with one leg. The man just so happens to sit right next to her and orders a drink. The man reeks of cockroaches and he looks like a homeless man that hasn't bathed in months. They never talk and the blonde goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you get when you hit a deer? A dead deer, which you should probably take home to eat - wouldn't want it to go to waste.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I have a knock knock joke. You go first.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

So a dog walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Quickly, someone give me the number for animal control."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, Death is inevitable.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats big fat and very annoying your little brother

thumb_up thumb_down +14

i may not know where you sleep. but, i spiked your drink with sleeping pills

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the girl scream when she got her tooth pulled? Because it hurt her.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the Jewish man sad? His wife was brutally murdered, His chilren raped, Parents stabbed horrifically and stuffed with turtles and the doctor just informed him that he had cancer and was due to die 17 minutes ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

When did Osama Bin Laden die? Nobody gives a @!?$

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well, there is no way to accurately estimate this number being that 1.woodchucks in fact do not chuck wood and 2. there is no time frame given for said action to take place

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are grey Violets are gray Imma dog

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red Violets are blue get down or i will shoot

thumb_up thumb_down +14

poop

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a bat and the others a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q - What do you call a hamburger without pickles? A - You call it a hamburger just without the pickles.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

U ALL LIAK DIK

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops