Whats worse than 12 babys stapled to a tree? 1 baby stapled to 12 trees!

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whats blue, saggy, moldy and smelly? Will Nealis' Vagina

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How come the man couldnt read the directions? He was reading it upside down.

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what makes the world go round? An axis (just jokin, its COFFEE)

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How do you stop a second date from happenin? You force a dead mouse in your date's vagina.

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What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? No one knows he hasn't been able to open his presents yet.

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What is Jetlag? When your computer is running too many applications in the background while you're trying to play a game of Jetman so it starts lagging.

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roses arent always red, they can be pink or white. violets are violet, not blue. your pretty lets have sex.

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Why do Chinese people have flat faces? Air bags.

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Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

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why dont we just take bikini bottom and push it somewhere else

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How are trees and friends alike? They are both subject to fall when struck with an axe.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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How do you make Chuck Norris cry? Kill his family.

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I tell the Doctor I'm having pains in my chest. He says that sounds serious and admits me immediately to the hospital.

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A black man, Jew, and Asian walk into a bar... What does the bartender say? get out.

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Your mumma is so stupid her IQ is 40.

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A priest, a monk, and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order drinks and keep the conversation to non-controversial topics.

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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boy: you want to hear something funny? girl: what? boy: women's rights girl: you want to hear something trivial? boy: what? girl: your penis

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A young boy walks into a bar and asks for directions or a map. The bartender takes him into a backroom and gives him a map he just happened to have. The boy continues on his way and the bartender is happy that he did a good deed.

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Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

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What did the paraplegic boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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