So a blonde woman gets into her car. She then drives to the grocery store because she is hungry and wants to buy food to make her dinner.

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Could switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? Yes.

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What happened after jimmy cheated on a test. Jimmy went home.

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Why does Danny work at the factory? Because Danny is in an substantial economic crisis, and doesn't have enough money to afford food for his 6 kids and wife. They will all most likely die soon, as his factory job will not provide enough money.

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I ponder

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a man? One's tall the other's not

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"

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Does this napkin smell like chlorofoam?

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How many Ethiopian's can you fit in a bathtub? As many as you want, they'd all fall down the drain. JimBoto

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Q: What's blue and fuzzy A: Blue fuzz

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How do you make bread out of corpses? You don't. You grow it with bread seeds.

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Jack and jill Went up the hill To go smoke Some marijuana Jack got high Unzipped his fly And asked jill "Do you wanna?" Jill sais "yes" Pulled up her dress And things got real fun But silly jill Forgot the pill And now they have a son

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What is brown and sticky? Syrup.

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How do you drown a down syndrome child? Put him/her into water.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply because he was incapable of speech.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing duplicates of the top jokes.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I told you she was my Mom, but that didn't stop you!

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You know that feeling you get when you see your crush walking towards you? No, I'm blind.

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Who is blue and smells like green paint? Matt Daly

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brandon ya twwat

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Ill do a lot more than just try you, anyways, technically I learned to play the piano as a kid, but now I play on a small cheap keyboard (the musical kind) and sincerely, I kinda suck at it now, my abusive parents expected perfection beat the shit out of me blahblahblah, thats really all of it, trauma. My senses, well, when I was a kid I was terrified of gravity (one of the rarest fears in the world) because I had no idea I was consciously shifting things myself. So lets say... If I somehow end up hanging upside down, I just shift it, so my brain believes I am not and I experience no discomfort, there is a lot more to it, ill tell you, damn nose wont stop bleeding and my waifu got a bit scared, she got some bad bronchitis and she still has not recovered a 100 percent, but its just the cough now though... Lets just say that my ability to balance, is about 300-500 percent higher than any regular human, and that I can stand on one leg enough to beat the guiness record book 50 times... ...IIIIF I was in good shape, which I am not.

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What's black and blue and hates anal? The twelve year old in my trunk

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why do girraffe's have long necks? because my foot is so far up all their asses that it hits their head, pushing it away from the body.

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How do you fit 3 squirtles two bulbasors and a charmander in a smart car You poke em on

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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