A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? The person knocking at your door.

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Surprise mother father (A+)

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Dislike if you shag sheep ;)

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HEY EVERYONE THUMBS UP!

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What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

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Moves Like AJgger- Marron 5

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Q:What's red and fluffy? A: A blue rock, if blue were red and rocks were fluffy

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You should periodically review the most up-to-date version of the Terms of Service. Oh you.

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Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, shes already been told twice

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I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

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a weird guy tickled a watermelon.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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I grew up, if we cannot live for ourselves, we cannot live for others, remember how people admired us when in their presence, while mocking us behind our backs, most humans do nor respect those that do not rule with lies, false promises, all backed up by an army no amount of civilians can defeat. We lost because people got what they wanted, preferring false promises from all ranging from their Gods, to their politicians speaking about their Gods, promises of betterment as a result of war in the name of Gods, but we are not that people. The problem is, that I used to believe that all of humanity possessed the potential people you and I have, and realize now that when I began looking down at people, I began looking down at myself, considering us all equal to them. Red, we might be few, but we are worth far more than those we consider our equals, maybe it is time even we, sought to rule those that desire to be ruled, rather than to help them find their desired path, because their desired path, might always have been to be ruled.

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What's the difference between an elephant and I?Our mass.

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a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

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How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

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I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

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Q: What do you call a guy that likes men? A: Gay.

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I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the farmer cross the road? To pick up the dead chicken

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My Friday was going great until i realized it's Thursday...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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