You should really respect vegetables more. They rock. They're all like... AAAHH!!!... and I'm all like... DUDE! THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM!... and seriously, you should respect da veggies!

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What does 1+1 equal? 2

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banana

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Why does Marcus keep playing dumb games instead of doing his goelogy. No one knows.

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Where does a homeless person live? No where

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Whats Brown and sticky... Shit

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What did Darth Vader say when he spilled his drink? Darth Vader is a fictional character and is not a part of humanity.

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When there's something weird in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police.

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I was in the middle of downloading a porno of two hot girls getting it on, my computer got a virus and crashed.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

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Why was the black man eating a banana? Because bananas are an excellent source of potassium.

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An Asian child flunks a test.

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What did the Neo-Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. You are under arrest for sodomy.

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What do you call a black man that goes to college? A student..

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What's green and fuzzy and would hurt a lot if it fell out of a tree and hit you? A pool table

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A man walks into a pole.

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Why did the baker have brown hands: Because he was black

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What does a turtle do on its back? NOTHING!

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Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

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what do you call a cow? A cow

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I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

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What do you call a blonde on the Moon? That depends on what her name is.

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Why do vampires suck the blood of their victims? Because blood is very nutritious and provides more iron for heamoglobin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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