What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its feet are both the same.

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Hey, I just met you... No, I'm your brother. You've known me for 30 years. You must have memory loss.

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Okay, I just really want you to trust me again,

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Q. What did Nelson say to his men before they boarded ship? A. "Board ship men"

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will you have for dinner? The duck says "quack".

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Basically copying you.

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What does tupperware and a walrus have in common? they both like a tight seal

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when im sad im feel horny i rape little children -jimmy saville , last words of the diary

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What did the skeleton say to the vampire? Nothing because a skeleton wouldn't have a larynx.

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Take this and put it- No.

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2 tomatoes walk across a road tomato 1 gets hit by a car tomato 2 gets confused, because tomatoes don't have legs and therefore cannot "walk across a road" And furthermore, a tomato does not have a brain, and thus cannot get confused.

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I was sitting next to a man with jelly in one ear and peanut butter in the other, so I turned to him and said "Are you a trifle deaf?" and he said "No, I'm mentally ill."

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Q: What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? A: They both have handlebars except for the duck!

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

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Knock knock Come in

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What did the gay guy get at the grocery store? A tub of Häagen-Dazs ice cream because he thought he deserved a treat.

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

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A large man goes into a restaurant and places his order The waiter asks if he would like the weight watchers menu He says no because he doesnt care about his weight

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What weights more than a 300 pound man? A 400 pound man.

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what did the fish say when he was eaten by a shark nothing fish cant talk

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Knock knock Who's there Police

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Why do people like anti jokes? Because their f****** funny as hell

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Whats that cool sound it makes when you thumbs a comment?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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