knock knock who's there? a murderer. a murderer who? a murderer who kills you and your family.

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What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

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Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

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If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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why did the chicken cross the road? Does it matter why, it just did.

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How is an orange like an airplane? They both have wings except an orange doesn't have wings

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Yo momma's so poor, that when she went to the soup kitchen, she got food.

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whats 2 + 2? a black guy flying a kite

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. (Don't ask me how that's possible, just go with it) As the bartender is pouring it, he asks "Why the long face?" The horse responds "My son died of cancer this morning..."

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Roses are red, white, pink, and many other colors. Violets similarly display many color variations due to generations of ardent florists.

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24

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A man walks outside on a sunny day. Since the sun was very bright, he put on a pair of sunglasses. While this was going on, nothing else really happened and he went on with his day as usual.

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Where can find a man who owns a white van capable of transporting many children? Most local churches have them for mission work. I would contact a local minister.

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A man walked into a bar because he worked there.

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What did the Democrat say to the Republican? "I am sorry about your mother". They had been good friends since childhood and the Republicans mother was soon to die from terminal cancer.

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Wanna here a joke? Feminism.

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A snail walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "hey we don't serve snails here," and flicks him across the street. 3 years later the snails walks back into the bar and said, "why'd ya do that for??"

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Cleveland winning something

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What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Ask me if I am a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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A Man buys a Prius. Hated it.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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An Asian fails their maths exam.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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