Q:If an apple and an orange had a politicial debate, what would it concern? A:Nothing important.

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Why was the presidential candidate sad? He mother was raped on her way to hear his speech and his brother hung himself in his apartment two days earlier.

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Roses are Black Violets are Black I am color blind.

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So what makes you that much adaptable? I get the feeling I should get this by now.

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Why did the man rob a convenience store? Don't ask why, call the police! He could be robbing more stores!

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Did you hear about the guy who got his entire LEFT side ripped off? He's dead.

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A Tatooine moisture farmer, an old man, an astromech droid, and a protocol droid walk into a cantina at Mos Eisley Space Port. The bartender says, "We don't serve their kind here! They'll have to wait outside. We don't want them here." The moisture farmer then says to his droids, "Listen, why don't you wait out by the speeder. We don't want any trouble."

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what's bad about pushing your friend off a cliff? you can't do it twice

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a murderer.

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A gay man walks into a biker bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you want ice with that?"

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Do you know mirror has 6 letters and half of then are r's?

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What happened when the man was about to hug the sexiest person he ever saw in his life? He hit the mirror.

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ahhh finally removed the splinter I've had for quite some time now. Hopefully that was the last one I'll get for a while...touch wood

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What has three eyes, scales, seventeen stomachs, and can produce milk? Nothing. Nature has not yet evolved any animal to these specifications.

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HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

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Why don't chicken wear underwear? Because their peckers are on their face

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set? Because she didn't.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have narcolepsy.

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What did one Chinese man say to the other? ?????

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A woman who owns a parrot leaves her home, forgetting that a plumber is scheduled to come fix her sink. A few minutes after she leaves, the plumber arrives and knocks on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waits for a minute and, seeing that nobody has come to the door, knocks again. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, a little more loudly, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink!" The plumber waits for a minute and bangs hard on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screams, "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIINK!!!" Just then, the plumber clutches his chest and falls dead to the ground. When the woman returns home, she sees the dead man in front of her door. She opens her door to go to her phone and asks the parrot, "who is it?" The parrot replies, "WHO IS IT?"

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What's black,white, and red all over? Nothing, because if it is completely covered in red then it can only be red.

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What's the difference between a nickel and a dime? Five cents.

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Who lives on 2324 Elm St. River Grove Illinois? And Goes to East Leyden High School? The answer is Ricky Krajewski. He is 16 years old has brown hair and brown eyes. 5'11" 190lbs and 6.5 inch penis(when erect). social security # is 679-78-6283.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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