How can you tell if your goldfish is male or female? Put some fishfood in the bowl, if he swims to the food it's a male, if she swims to the food it's a female.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

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How do you drown a blond? Keep her head underwater until her lungs fill with water and her bodily functions stop working.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Dead.

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what do you call a nun in a wheel chair? Virgin Mobile By: jb lshs

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Whats the difference between a Duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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Why did the corpse come to life? Because number 5 is alive!

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Q: What's worse than a dead baby? A: A dead baby with diarrhea.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but GET IN THE VAN

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The bear woke up after his long hibernation of the winter. "Boy, am I hungry!" The bear wandered around and ate some berries. "These blackberries are too bitter and unripe for my taste, I'll go eat something else." He stumbled upon a honeybee hive and took some honey out and ate it. He was swarmed and stung by many of those bees. "That wasn't my favorite batch of honey, I'm still pretty hungry, let me go find some other food. He came across a cabin in the woods. "There maybe some food in there." To some, this was known as the Northern Vermont Massacre. It was a tragic happening. The 7 membered family, the Hernandez family, all died that day. The bear chase all of the adult and children and the house and brutally ate them.

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Make little things count Teach midgets math

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What happens if you confuse your male best friend's and your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, their both named Adam.

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What's worse than 10 babies in one trash can? One baby in 10 trash cans.

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A man with a ski mask leaves a jewelry store He then goes back because he accidentally took the clerk's pen

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Yo mama is so depressing. That is so sad.

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What did the boy find on his laptop? -Nothing, he comes from a broken home and can't afford one.

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Jimmy wet his pants in class during geography class. The teacher asked: "Oh Jimmy, why did you do that?" Jimmy answered: "I don't know" Everyone laughed at him and Jimmy went home very sad. And with wet pants.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream?? He got hit by a truck.

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Yo momma so fat, people snicker as they walk past her, quietly laughing at a women obviously struggling with obesity. They then proceed to stop laughing, as they realize that their mother died from diabetes. They then proceed to move on with their day.

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What do a magazine and a banana have in common? They both have pages, except for the banana.

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a fat man walks into a bar and gets laughed at because his shoes are untied

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Where do astronaut cows go? Nowhere. There's no such thing as an astronaut cow.

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What do you call a blue baby at the bottom of a pool? Dead.

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off and his body was never recovered. Repeat then handled the funeral planning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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