Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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what's the difference between a male and female skeleton? The jaw bone structure

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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A dog walks into a saloon and says "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw." The patrons are afraid of the talking dog.

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Why does Nathan Rogers never get any pussy? Because goblins have small dicks

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Why did the drunk walk into the bar? Because he has a serious drinking problem.

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What do you call it when someone walks on another person's head? It depends. Face up, fetish. Face down, hate crime.

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What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

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A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian find a magical lamp with a genie inside. He offers each of them one wish. The Muslim wishes that people didn't look at his people as terrorists. The Jew wishes that the Holocaust never happened, and the Christian wishes for world peace. Actually this didn't happen, Genies don't exist.

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Who thinks amy mc quire is really stuiped

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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what do you call a man with no legs? disabled.

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What is a person who can hold there breath for an hour? Dead

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why did the building fall down the terrorists came back

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Why did the black man buy watermlons? Because a new local super market just opened and they were on sale.

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A man walks into a bar what does he say Ouch

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Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

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My penis is so big that some women find it uncomfortable.

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What do you call white people that live in a trailer park? Residents.

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what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

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Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory? She made skittles.

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homework

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? The bench can support a family.

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Doris was putting up Christmas lights when he noticed the bulb's suddenly came on. He was puzzled at first, as he hadn't plugged them in. He climbed down the ladder and found that it was his son, Robby who had plugged the lights in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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