How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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What do the poor have that the rich need? Nothing.

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Your mums a penis joke.

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how many jews can you fit in a buick? six if you squeeze 4 in the back

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What can an elevator do that a mexican can't? Raise a family.

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Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

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What happened to the man who lost his left arm, left leg and eye in an accident? I expect he claimed insurance, assuming he was prudent enough to insure himself, or his workplace complied with legislation.

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Debating on internet is like competing in the paralympics, even if you win you're still retarded

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How do you make a wall a darker shade of red? You throw the baby harder.

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*Knock knock! "Who's there?" "Jehovah's witness" .....

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What happened to the black man when he was eating a Tootsie Roll? He ate the entire thing but was still hungry due to the empty calories.

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what happened to the guy that got attacked by a shark he died

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If the covalent bonds of two Hydrogen atoms and one Oxygen atom creates water, which subs are currently on the 5-dollar-foot-long menu at Subway?

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why did susie fall off the swing? she had no arms and no legs. knock knock who's there? not susie

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An Englishman, and Irishman, and a Scottsman walk into a bar and the bartender says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

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im the real danny hamilton you stupid asshole

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On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me nothing because I'm single

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69

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What did the booger say the other booger? "Is he picking on you again"

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When life gives you lemmons Give lemmons Life

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What do you call a bunch of white people running down a hill? Avalanche What do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill? Mud slide What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill? Jailbreak

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What do you call a baby with no future? A baby dying at birth.

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mom's a whore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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