- Anti Joke

Whats the Twin Towers least favourite movie? Here Comes the Boom.

Roses are red Violets are red The trees are red Oh crap, the garden's on fire.

What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

Ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass...! I said "ass" a lot, sorry for the language

Why did the little girl fail her test? Because she had mental retardation.

what did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? cancer

what is Justin Bieber+ One Less Lonely girl.... A BABY

How old is your mom? Old.

A Mexican, an Asian, a black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a hispanic............... i forgot.

What got stolen from the poor boys house... Nothing, he was so poor that he couldn't even afford any thing

That's not what she said.

Knock knock. Who's there It's Jim O ok come on in

What did the person with down syndrome do? He mumbled for a while, chewed on his thumb, fell flat on his face, and died.

You know why Michael J Fox can dance like it's 1999? because he's a really good dancer.

Knock Knock. Whos there? Victor. Victor who? Victor Secret, the gay door to door lingerie salesman. Can i interest you in a plastic cup holder?

One day a cheerio is walking down the street. Nothing special, just a regular cheerio. Suddenly, he sees a honey-coated cheerio. Now, honey-coated cheerios have a much higher social status than regular cheerios. So he decides that he wants to become a honey- coated cheerio. He works really, really hard and one day his boss promotes him to a honey-coated cheerio. So, he's really pleased about this, he can easily pay his rent, he gets a nice car, and his family is much happier. But then, as he's driving around the town, he sees a sugar-coated cheerio. Now, sugar-coated cheerios are preety much at the top of society. They're all highly regarded and respected. So he decides that he wants to become a sugar-coated cheerio. He works really, really hard for months and months, until one day his boss decides that he can become a sugar-coated cheerio. He is absolutely stoked with this. He gets a bigger house with a swimming pool and a spa, really nice clothes, and he's very well respected. One day, he's sun bathing at the beach, when off in the distance he sees an island that he had never seen before. Apparently, this is the golden cheerio island. Cheerios there fly around in jet cars and lounge around in bars. It's cheerio heaven. So he decides that if he becomes a golden cheerio, his life will be complete. He dedicates his life to working really, incredibly hard, and one day his boss says to him, "You know what, you've worked so hard that I'm promoting you to a golden cheerio." So he makes it to the cheerio island, and as he is lying down, relaxing, he suddenly becomes very thirsty. All cheerios really like milk so he goes to get some, but there's a really long line at the milk stand. So he decides to get some lemonade, but like the milk stand, there's a really long line at the lemonade stand. So he thinks, "I know what no-one will want. Punch!" So he goes to the punch stand and sure enough there's no punch line.

A dislexic man walks into a bra. He then proceeds to enjoy the breasts that he has stumbled upon.p

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

What's the difference between a plane and a Muslim dentist? A plane hasn't dedicated its life to the study of dentistry

One man's trash is another dyslexic man's shart.

Why did the chicken eat fried chicken? Because fried chicken is so good! Kelvin Yang.

What do you call two banana's on someone's feet? Garbage.

What can you eat that comes in all different flavors. Chex mix, I bet you thought it was women but its not its chex mix

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops