How do you escape prison? Kill everyone in it hen once you have escaped find their families and viciously murder them. Are they going the send you back to prison? No because you will kill everyone.

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What did Jesus say last before being nailed to the cross? I don't know, It never happened. ...Why did he say that? He didn't, it's not real.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, you racist.

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What's the difference between a Justin Beiber concert and a hedgehog? With a hedgehog, the pricks are on the outside, but in a Justin Beiber concert, the pricks are on the inside.

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What did the gay man do last night? Had a curry

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jay hefti is so cool and alex askew is hot

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Why did the gay man die? He had AIDS

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? depends how big the car is!

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Moral below, I understand you are one of us, but you are not supposed to act when I, your leader is spreading the message, if you want to risk harming the fundation behind your status as a shadow and its benefits, I suggest you cease signing your comments with moral. Moral the friendly neighbourhood r*pist: "Ruining the fundation behind the life of your choosing, will always end up ruining your chance to live and act freely, if you are a true shadow, then you will follow and obey"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon

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what is the difference between a banana and an orange? bread.

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Its December 21, 2012. You are still alive.

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A zombie walks into a bar. It was shot by an M16 automatic rifle. The video game had zombies.

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What did the duck say to the flag? NOTHING DUCKS CANT SPEAK or flags

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Abbott! Abbott who? Abbott time you answered the door! The door was never answered because they did not know the person at the door.

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. The man was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral service.

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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what's the difference between a dog and a sheep? one's a dog and the other isn't.

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what happens when u mix a car, a blimp and a plane? I don't know.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender.

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime lying in a pool of blood.

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What did the fat man do when someone told him he was fat? He kept eating, for he was deaf.

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"KNOCK KNOCK". I opened the door to greet my guests for the party.

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Why did the whale cross the ocean? To reproduce as a way of life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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