What did the big chimney say to the smaller chimney? Nothing chimneys don't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did the apathetic person say? Who Cares?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was't the Elephant allowed on the Airplane? He didn't have a boarding pass

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Wow did you see stevie wonder's new house. neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Wanna know something funny? Your face

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A horse walks into a barn.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats big, hard, and in my pants? A tumor.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Halts Maul Reid. Das ist, was ich rede.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did the polar bear bury his face into snow? because he saw the 241543903 post and wanted to join in so he used a portal gun to teleport his head into some guy's freezer.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is not a crocodile? The teenage mutant ninja turtles

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a black man speeding away in a Ferrari. A wealthy man who is late for work.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats horny and big A dick minus the big part!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

your dad's gay. just let that sink in.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? There's an alive one at the bottom what's worse than that? He ate his way out what's worse than that? He enjoyed it

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is a Mexican's favorite restaurant? While the term "Mexican" encompasses a wide range of individuals and individual predilections, the most common cibarious preference would likely be a food that is reminiscent of his or her homeland; that is, what we refer to as Mexican food. An authentic nearby joint sporting such provisions would likely be the most common preference, but, as this description can only be traced on the local scale, a specific restaurant that covers a wider range of locations would be a more appropriate answer. Among the top choices are Taco Time and Taco Del Mar.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A horse walked into a bar, the bartender asked "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, as it was a horse and did not speak English nor understand what the man had said, the horse then stumbled around the bar for a while, confused, before finding the exit and leaving.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A. One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a highly trained professional skilled in the art of litigation.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing!!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

KASEEM IS CRAP AT GEARS OF WAR THIS IS NOT A JOKE ITS TRUE (FACT) PLAYSTATION IS BETTER THEN XBOX (BIGGEST JOKE EVER) IV HAD BOTH, SO SHUT UP PS3 BOYS AKA GIRLS

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll order The Special, what's wrong with you?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What has wheels and flies? A wheel that I have altered so it can fly

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man rode into town on Friday and stayed a while and then left on Friday how did he manage this?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the teenager cross the road? To get an abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops