The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, "Oh...Well, that's not so bad. At least I don't have AIDS."

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What did the Democrat say to the Republican? "I am sorry about your mother". They had been good friends since childhood and the Republicans mother was soon to die from terminal cancer.

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Roses are red, Violets are black, Why is your chest, as flat as your back

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if you can raed tihs steence it menas you are ceelvr eugnoh to uendnrstad tihs: no sex cusaes dgdoy eeys

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Mike tyson

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what did you call a bench full of white guys? The NBA

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Whats small, red and white, and would kill you if shot out of a cannon? A decapitated baby

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roses are red violets are blue dinosaurs are extinct obama is black

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Why couldn't the Asian drive? He was blind

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Whats worse than eating a worm? Haveing a worm die in your penis.

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What did Stephen Hawkins say to President Obama? He didn't his computer did.

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Knock Knock! Come in!

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Roses are red Violets are red The trees are red Oh crap, the garden's on fire.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r jerks n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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What did the blonde say to the other blonde? What's up

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Why did the boy get hit by the bus? He didn't check both sides before crossing

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Roses are blue Violets are red Crap, I already messed up the joke.

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What did the Pope say to the old homeless man who asked him for a blessing? Hahaha, no I won't give you a blessing

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Q: A boy went to 7-11 and bought Coke instead of 7up. Why? A: I don't know

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What do you call a group of jews hiding in an attic? Well, this sounds very similar to the events during World War II in which Anne Frank and various jewish refugees hid from the Nazis.

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What do you call a fish that isn't moving? Dead.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead why did the dog fall out of the tree? because it was attached to the monkey

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, who shat in my garden

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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