What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

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A black man and a mexican jump from a tree. Who hits the ground first? The mexican. The black man had a rope tied around his neck.

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What drink is dark yellow and freshly squeezed from one of the most healthy snacks? Piss.

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Why wasn't the clown funny? He didn't have a face

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Why did the Jew have very bad gas? He had very rough anal sex and air got stuck up his bum

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Knock knock. Is someone there?

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How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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Why did the wealthy black man shoplift from the convenience store? He is a kleptomaniac.

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How many fingers does Charlie Sheen have? 8. and 2 thumbs. just like most everybody else.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

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What do you call a baby in a blender? Child abuse.

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Black people

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Why couldn't little Johnny play sports like the rest of the kids? He was diagnosed with polio at the age of 3 and has limited use of his legs.

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Lunch.

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What do you call it when the sh*t hits the fan? The sh*t hits the fan.

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Women's rights.

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Were did Suzie go after the bombing? A: everywere

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trumpy trumpy trump

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Wanna hear a joke? Once upon a time, there was a successful Mexican.

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Q. Why was the blonde fired from the M+M factory? A.She was addicted to meth.

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1. In 2010, 8.8 million people fell ill with Tuberculosis. 2. Up to 70,000 children died in 2010 due to Tuberculosis. 3. Tuberculosis is the leading killer of people living with HIV with 1.4 million deaths. 4. Death from Tuberculosis has dropped 40% since 1990. 5. No country has ever eliminated Tuberculosis entirely. 6. About 46 million Tuberculosis patients have been successfully treated since 1995. 7. Children under 5 years old rarely get the disease. 8. Edgar Allen Poe’s mother, foster mother, and wife all died of Tuberculosis. 9. It can take up to 12 months to recover from Tuberculosis. 10. People with tuberculosis have symptoms such as cough that “won’t go away”, a cough that brings up blood, a fever lasting longer than 2 weeks, night sweats, fatigue, or noticeable amounts of acute weight loss. 11. Nearly 2 million people die from tuberculosis yearly. 12. Tuberculosis kills 5,000 people daily.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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