Why do animals on the side of the road stink? Well they don't, you just think they do when in reality all it is, is there insides rottening From prevous days of exposen of the air now as far as I know all the little baby squrriel Wanted was it get his nuts in the road and it bring back to his starving family counting on him to bring Food to the tree next thing you know a soccer mom's van ran the poor baby squirrel over. Now me knowing this squirrel myself (don't ask me how) he wanted to go out in style you know get ran over by a mustang or a lambo not some bitch ass mini van with sliding doors and a dvd player convinit for the kids to watch spongebob.... man I bet that squrriel was pissed!

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

What does rainbow stand for? Rick Astley Is Nesting By Our Window to harass us

Whats pink and screaming? a skinned baby in a bucket of vinegar+

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey. Why did the other bird fall out of the tree? It was shot. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

what does a gorilla do when it sleeps. it snores.

Why did the car cross the road? Green light

why did ya dad eat ya food?? because ya sister

Whats plastic and little boys turn it on? A game cube, and Michael Jackson. Well maybe not anymore since hes dead...

What do you call a black astronaut? It depends on what his name is.

If I had 10 cents for every time a hobo asked for change i still wouldn't give him any money

whats the difference between a flamingo ? because the pyramid has a high cholesterol

HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

2 out of 4 questions. How do you get an elephant in a fridge? Open it, take the girrafe out, put the elephant in, and close it.

What do you call a black man at the head of the U.S.? A mistake.

What do you get when you cross Sir Elton John with a sabertooth tiger. I don't know but you better keep it away from your ass.

Why was the guy sad? His son killed himself after being constantly bullied for 6 years.

"Do you live in the United States?", said the man. "no." said the other man, "cool beans", said the woman.

Q : whats the most annoying thing on the earth with a big fore head ? A : Paige

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz 7 8 9

Why did the cow cross the road? He was in the moooooooood.

Hi

An enormous black man wearing a durag walks into a bar. Due to the diverse and friendly comminuty he lives in, nobody judges him on his race, ethnicity, or culture. He goes on to pursue his career in business and gets a Masters Degree in Business Administration. He get's a job as an IT Director for a very successful business and he marries a well educated woman. They have 2 kids, but one of them is diagnosed with "Ondine's Curse" and dies in it's sleep. Distressed, and mourning the death of his newborn son, he seeks help from his parents. Regardless of his parents comforting and loving attitude towards him, he goes into the inner city smoking and selling illegal drugs like crack. He even got into cocaine and marjuana. 4 and a half years later, he was about to attempt suicide, when he saw his only living son, whom he loved with all his heart, walk into the room with his teddybear. He just looked at him, and he looked back. Suddenly, the father started crying. Flashbacks started playing though his mind of his happy life he was steadily pursuing. "why me?" He constantly thought to himself. What did he do to deserve this? 7 years in the future. The father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Right before his death, he asked to talk to his son. "Son, listen to me. Never try to comtemplate the world we live in, it's too spontaneous and insane to understand. This world can either give you bliss or depression. Nothing inbetween. And most people who make there way up to the top eventually will fall. What goes up must come down. Ha... I never thought I'd be talking to me own son giving him a silly lecture in a deathbed. But just look at me..."the father gets very muddled and disoriented* "...Son. They say most of us have a good reason to live. Well don't most of us have a good reason to die too?" Malik Cartwright died on March 22, 1999. His son went on to legally change his middle name to "Leek", after his father's nickname. He went on to get the same Master's Degree that his father received, and had kids of his own. The whereabouts of the mother are unknown.

What's the best joke in the world? This one.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...