When life gives you lemmons Give lemmons Life

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Donald Trump

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What do you call a blonde who tries to swim on land? - Stupid.

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Why did Dom stop smoking He didnt I lied

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Jeff. I don't know anyone by the name of Jeff. Please leave my property immedaitely.

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A: Hey ask me if Im a fire truck? B: Are you a Fire Truck? A: No why would you ask that?

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Why was Little Billy crying? He had an axe embedded in his chest.

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Sometimes I fantasize about having sexual relations with Oprah Winfrey. Sometimes I don't.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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How many women's right's leaders does it take to change a light bulb? None. They can't change anything.

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What did little jimmy get for Christmas? A box containing the malevolent soul of a 10,000 year-old demon determined to torment his cat.

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I like big butts and I cannot lie. You don't know that. I may enjoy skinny butts. I may be lying.

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What did the midget say to the leprechaun? Nothing.....midgets don't usually converse with leprechauns....and leprechauns aren't real.

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Wanna here a good joke? Sure, but you spelled hear wrong.

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What's harder nailing 10 babies to 1 tree... Or nailing 1 baby to 10 trees???

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How do you stop a Polish army on horseback? With artillery.

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Spread the net.

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Bob dole

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Nothing.

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Q: what animal didnt get on Noah's ark in pairs? A: worms. they got on in apples.

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Why was the ginger walking around in bare feet? He had no sole.

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Why did the wife leave her husband? Because they were having sexual differences and time restraints. The husband worked nightshifts as a nurse while the woman stayed home and took care of their child. The husband confessed he never wanted a child in the first place, and that having sexual intercourse with her didn't truly satisfy him.

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Q:How many babies does it take to paint a room? A:It depends how hard you throw them

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Why did the mother tell her son to get a job. She was tired of buying Generic brand food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops