- Anti Joke

Two guys walk into a bar.

What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend?

Jerry: Hey, do you smell that? It kinda smells like updog. Moe: What's updog?

What is a five letter word that sounds just like trucks? Vroom

If she's old enough to count, she's probably in second grade.

A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had come upon them and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

Knoc nock whos dere ronnie turiaf...... Ronnie turiaf who Dennis rodman

Why did the school bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

how do you fix a family? Someone gives in

A boy walks up to a girl and says "Do you like ice cream? Cuz I have a huuuuuge penis."

Why did the whale cross the ocean? To reproduce as a way of life.

my great great grandpa ryan the rattlesnake had a cat named dog-

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

What did the rapper Proof say when he got in a fight? Nothing, Proof is dead.

What's the difference between a model and a baby? I didn't have sex with a model last night.

What do you call a flying jew? Smoke.

Why i didn't bought the "Anti Joke The Book".. Because the joke in it aren't funny..

how do you scare a mexican? You dress up as a bar of soap.

whats funny? a relatsion ship for 16 hours

Why did you insult me and then punch me in the face? The hell if you care anymore, I killed you straight after. Neo-Nero. (Rest in peace Nero7 better known as The Moral Man, I hope I can one day live up to your greatness.) Moral: "Keep your spirits up, we are all going to die sometime, but life means nothing if we lose faith in ourselves and each other" Moral 2: "Nero Septimus, that will be my first and last moral that made a figment of fucking sense, if you are watching from whatever comes from life, I know that this is what you would have done, but just so you know and always wanted for us that followed you, I am doing this for my own goddamn fucking self, respects... Now if your ghost is still watching, get the fuck out of my room you damn cripple, and know that your arm is somewhere in the basement because its so goddamn bad ass that it fucking freaks me out, and so fucking heavy that I think you where some sort of superhuman, now gtfo, as you taught us, we cant focus on the goddamn afterlife, if we are gonna get the best out of life and the present, adios amigo"

How many penises is one metric butt-load. Oh God I hope you don't know the answer.

Why wasn't there an elevator in the rainforest? The rainforest is not capable of managing an elevator because an elevator does in fact require an energy source which is also not capable in a rainforest. The rainforest is filled with animals and is not filled with humans which would make having an elevator in the rainforest useless because the main use of an elevator is to transport humans. The animals in the rainforest would not be able to operate the elevator because using an elevator for them would be advance while humans using elevators is second nature.

What's better than eating baby? Nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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