How do you take a Mexican's money? You can't because they have none.

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How do you get a women stop running a marathon? You tell her that you have AIDS and she should get herself checked.

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How do you get a blond to fall over? Shoot her with a shotgun.

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What's big, black and hard to swallow? A bowling ball.

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What is big and wet and smells like mushrooms? A big wet mushroom.

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If your uncle helped you off An horse, would you help your uncle jack off an horse?

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Why did the mentally challenged man enter the bar? He's tired of being subject hate and criticism. He hates being the subject of jokes and being pointed at. He may not be able to tell you what 3x6 is, but he still has feelings. So because of all these inconsiderate people judging him, he now spends his days at the local bar, drowning his sorrows away in alcohol. I hope your happy.

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If you shaved Chuck Norris' beard, you'd find a chin.

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What did the little boy say after he was pushed off the cliff? Nothing. He died, therefore, he is incapable of speaking.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson who? Shut up and give me ma dam candy women!

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Why does Danny work at the factory? Because Danny is in an substantial economic crisis, and doesn't have enough money to afford food for his 6 kids and wife. They will all most likely die soon, as his factory job will not provide enough money.

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Dogs in my home.

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Could switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? Yes.

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What happened after jimmy cheated on a test. Jimmy went home.

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Tom and Phill are eating ice cream Tom challenges Phill to a contest to see who can eat their ice cream in one bite Tom finishes his in two bites Phil in one Then he looks like he got a brain freeze Tom notices and says "You idiot: you got brain freeze!" Phill turns around and says "No, I have a brain tumor."

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Why wasn't there an elevator in the rainforest? The rainforest is not capable of managing an elevator because an elevator does in fact require an energy source which is also not capable in a rainforest. The rainforest is filled with animals and is not filled with humans which would make having an elevator in the rainforest useless because the main use of an elevator is to transport humans. The animals in the rainforest would not be able to operate the elevator because using an elevator for them would be advance while humans using elevators is second nature.

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I know what you do with your right hand. You part-take in everyday activities such as eating, typing, grooming and maneuvering.

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"Knock, Knock," a man called out. A child threw open the door and peered out at him. "Why didn't you just knock instead of saying 'knock knock'?" Flustered, the man couldn't come up with an answer, and the child promptly closed the door, locked it, and returned to her previous activities.

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What's the difference between you and a cat? The cats mom isn't a whore.

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What did one computer say to the other? 100111010100100111001010010001110101110010100010101011010011010010111000010101100100100100001101010000011111010010011010100110101001010100101010101010100101011010010010101010110010110010100100010101010101010

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"KNOCK KNOCK". I opened the door to greet my guests for the party.

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What did the Ginger get for Christmas? A: a soul

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How do you drown a down syndrome child? Put him/her into water.

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A scotsmen, an Irishman and an Englishman all walk into a bar. The publican had accidentally left the door unlocked and the bar was in fact closed. So they left.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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