Why is your dad gay? Because he takes an enjoyment in a mans dick

What Does the Duck Say? "Got any grapes?"

Knock Knock Whos there Who Yan Who Yan Who Chow Yan Chow

Spongebob: Patrick! Can you hear me? Patrick: No, it's too dark.

Whats the difference between Steven Hawkin and Gary Glitter? Ones severely disabled and ones a paedophile.

Why did John stay home from school? He died.

An under aged man walks into a bar. the bar tender forgets to ask for his ID and gives him a beer. That man was later fired.

I see said the blind man to his def wife as the dog with no legs ran over

Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and suffered from a self-inflicted gunshot wound in his head, he is being treated by medical professionals

Knock knock. Come in.

"Did you eat your veggies?" asked the shark, sarcastically.

a black man kills a family member of a mexican guy. the mexican guy goes to the police, what happens? The mexican guy gets deported back to his country after they realize that he was illegal

Woha! Girl! Its not about the father figure thing, I always saw you as my sister, and well, my really hot little sister but sister still so you know... All ill thoughts where purged before they formed, anyway the point is I am you know... KINDA into a marriage and... Ugh, I feel really really sad, its not you, I just get extremely emotional on these pills, I told Alice to not add Zopiclone into the mix, but I wont break her fingers for wanting to take care of me, its just that Zopiclone makes me so damn sad... Ugh... On the bright side, my face looks pretty good actually, I always needed a scar or two there for manliness, I mean lets be honest, a babyface does not exactly inspire respect if you get my deal, so if you worry about seeing a burn victim or worse, at least my face wont look that way. Details aside, I have pretty much know you feel something extra for me for... A year maybe? I apreciate you sharing that with me, and id be lying if I said you arent the sweetest girl I know, I am glad my wife is not the jealous type when I say this... ...I always wanted to say that you have the face of an angel and the body of a Godess, and am ashamed to say I never thought you would turn out that sweet, kind and smart considering girls as hot as you (well you are a woman now) do not statistically tend to end up as... What profession did you have again? Like six doctor degrees? Was it bioscience or something? It does not matter, sister, daughter potential fuck (sorry, as you said, I say whats on my mind but that was a joke I could not nah... Nope you are my baby sister as far as my thoughts go hope thats fine) Uh, wow this is hard saying, but speaking about sex, my uh, manhood is operational, considering Alice does not know how to hug me without sinking my face into her huge tits (I told her I am sorry, but she wont stop laughing so I guess its okay) Cough, yeah my shadows are really quick about it, you should get the cash in an hour or less, I always keep a few around you and your family, and while they do spy on you (should have told you) its just for your security, believe me, these guys are pros, I mean they say I trained them, but I learned as much from them as them from me, if not more. Uh, honestly I hope you got no, you know, dreams about you and me, I mean I love you but, I have for years felt pretty bad about considering you my sister and still my mind (mostly in dreams) going "well maybe if you keep in mind you are not related" and then again going "NO I CANT THINK LIKE THAT!" To you know... Among other things cheat on my wife... Its not cheating if you ask for permission... She knows who she got married to. Why am I saying this? Sorry, I wont delete it all though, its you after all, Alice is worried about me posting this online, it hurts to laugh, but she apparently does not know me, id say this on a speaker, publically. Eliza this is "Alice", you know me from the same meeting as Neo-Nero, I was kinda going out with him (Neo) Back then, people thought I too died, but it was to keep me safe, just want to add that we all really miss you, and that Nero is more worried about what he is making me type than me, sorry about adding zopiclone into his pills, I mean I do not care if he is used to pain! He was crying out in pain during his sleep for fucks sake!

acualy is dolan

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender shoots him.

What dud the baseball player do when he struck out? Walked back to the bench

How do you fit 3 squirtles two bulbasors and a charmander in a smart car You poke em on

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? -getting raped by 10 very hung men who go balls deep

What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run, 'cause she's got a grenade in her mouth!

What happens when you cross a starfish with a dog? Dogs and starfish are from a different phylum. They are genetically incompatible.

- Knock knock - Excuse me, I don't have time, my house is on fire ! - We're the firemen.

8================================================================================================D-------------------------------------------- It can coil!

why did the little girl fall off the swing. she had no arms so I pushed her off

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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