What do you call a really small grape? A grape.

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Two bananas are walking down the street. One says, "Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" The other banana says, "Wait a minute, fruit can't talk." The second banana turns into a dove and promptly flies away.

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knock knock who's there? a murderer. a murderer who? a murderer who kills you and your family.

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What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

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Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

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Yo momma's so poor, that when she went to the soup kitchen, she got food.

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What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

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Yo mamas so fat that she slowly had developed obstructive sleep apnea syndrome and had died due to an obstruction of her upper airway while she was sleeping.

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Why did the coconut fall out of the tree? Gravity.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. (Don't ask me how that's possible, just go with it) As the bartender is pouring it, he asks "Why the long face?" The horse responds "My son died of cancer this morning..."

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You wanna see my secret freckle? NO! How about my butt? What!!!!!!!

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Roses are red, white, pink, and many other colors. Violets similarly display many color variations due to generations of ardent florists.

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i don't get it...none of these are funny.

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24

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless you're paralyzed.

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A man walked into a bar because he worked there.

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What did the Democrat say to the Republican? "I am sorry about your mother". They had been good friends since childhood and the Republicans mother was soon to die from terminal cancer.

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Where can find a man who owns a white van capable of transporting many children? Most local churches have them for mission work. I would contact a local minister.

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What do you call two black men in bed? Twix

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Cleveland winning something

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Wanna here a joke? Feminism.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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