Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey was a dead. Don't you dare laugh. Asshole.

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Why was 2 afraid of 3? Because 345!!!!!

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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why did sally fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock? who's there? not sally.

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How do you get to pigs in a pen? Move them.

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What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic Assosiation.

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how do you make a mailman mad? you sleep with his wife

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An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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(Pretend that your adopted, and no one loves you) Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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What is white on the inside and red on the outside? An apple.

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What is brown and has 15 legs? (They answer "What?") Reply: I don't know I was hoping you would.

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What is blue and angry? Mr Johnston wearing his green dress. I'm colour blind but he came round to my way of thinking in the end.

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My sister had a lemonade stand once. And one time, she spilled.

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How many Jews does it take to fix a gas leak?...

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How many chairs does it take to screw a lightbulb? One, if you have enough lube.

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A daring man proclaimed "Well, here goes nothing!" as his FaceBook status, and all his friends were annoyed.

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Knock Knock Whos there Who Yan Who Yan Who Chow Yan Chow

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what do you call a gay guy Ej

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What did the door say to the hand? Please stop caressing me!

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Why is America so great? Because the continent is really large.

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A plane is going to land at 3:30, if the monkey is holding a gun how does the bus driver commite suicide 12, because the laywer attacked the dyslexic man.

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What's a ghost's favourite country? Fraaaaance.

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Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "You man the guns, i'll drive."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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