Roses are white Violets are black I'm colorblind That is sad

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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What's neon green and has 69 legs? Nothing that I know of, but it would be an interesting creature

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A man walks into a bar.....OW!

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I may have alzheimers...Thank god I dont have alzheimers

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Q: What's the difference between sheetrock and drywall? A: nothing. It's just two names for the same thing.

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Why did the fish swim away from the boat when the fishermen put him back in the water? Because he obviously wasn't gonna get back in the boat.

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A: Who are you? B: A random guy who walked into your house A: Oh sorry, I keep forgetting your name.

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How do you know that someone is polish ? They smell funny

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A baby elephant steps on a lego. First thought, auch, huh ?! Actually, the lego was fine with it and so was the baby elephant. Now they're married and are expecting a baby legophant.

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Why do Eskimos build igloos? Because it is the most practical form of habitation for their climate zone, lifestyle, and availability of materials.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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What's brown and sticky? Fecal matter.

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hi

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Human: "Panda get off that slide! Your a panda, you don't understand gravity!" Panda: g=9.81 m/s squared. Human: Oh, I see, carry on.

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Batman and Superman switched sidekicks. Superman didn't want Robin.

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What is more dangerous than heroine? T.J. Lane

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What's the square root of 6739472? Who gives a f***?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey was a dead. Don't you dare laugh. Asshole.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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Q.what does the kid scream when he see's a creepy man in a big van pull up? A. ICE CREAM!

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What does Patrick say? IM PATRICK!!! IM PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK!!!!! PATRICK!!!!!

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Why was 2 afraid of 3? Because 345!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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