How do you know what time it is in the dark? Turn on the light and look at the clock.

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A politician from the National Country Party keeps interjecting - "I'm a country member, i'm a country member' "yes we remember" says Gough whitlam

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What's the difference between a model and a baby? I didn't have sex with a model last night.

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Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive traits.

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Q: What did Yoda do at the end of star wars when he lost his light saber? A: He asked the prop guy if he had any more and he happened to have another and they went on with making the great film many still love today.

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how do you spend all your money you go buy stuff

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raisin boogers

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Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

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Why didn't Kurt Cobain drive to work on Monday? He killed himself.

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A black guy gets a job...

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What makes a catholic priest happier then a visit to the penn state locker room? Introducing Jesus to people and them accepting him as their savior.

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A chronic hemophiliac walks into a bar. He cuts his leg and bleeds to death.

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Two olives are sitting on a counter, one falls off and the other one asks "Are you okay?" and he replies, "It is only a slight wound I think I will be just fine"

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Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her...

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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What's black and white and black and white and black and white? A chessboard.

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what do you call a joke that is not a joke? not a joke

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i feel like when the radish was discovered someone was like "hey lets call it rad!" and another guy was like "lets dial it down a bit"

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What did the boy say to the ghost wearing a banana outfit? Holy crap! A ghost!

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A little girl had a sleepover with her friends. They watched a movie, then went to bed at a reasonable time. /

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Why was the black man at the back of the bus... Cause all the other seats were taken

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Why do guys love to wrestle? They like to have physical contact with other men.

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How do you catch wet wood on fire? Ask a business owner in Ferguson, MO, to keep it in their store.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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