How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

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I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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What did Batman say to his parents? Nothing. They're dead. Idiot.

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Why are so many children obese? Because they eat to much and they are not physically active enough

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Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

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Q: What do you call a black pilot? A: A pilot, you racist

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Q: What did William Wallace say to Beyonce after Taylor Swift's performance? A: Nothing, because William Wallace has been dead for some time now.

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Why are blondes stupid? They are not. Its just in America society has been given that impression through inaccurate and crude jokes.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Why does Marcus keep playing dumb games instead of doing his goelogy. No one knows.

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How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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There was a Mexican, a Chinese, and an American on a plane. The Mexican threw down a sack of beans, the Chinese threw down a sack of rice, and the American threw down a bomb. The plane landed. When the three passengers stepped out of the plane, they were hungry.

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What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had heard from a mutual friend that his ex-girlfriend, who he had recently broken up with, would be present at the same party and to avoid an awkward encounter he chose not to go.

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? The person knocking at your door.

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An Irishman walked out of a bar. A Frenchman was polite. An Englishman had beautiful teeth.

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Why am I losing my time writing this joke even knowing that I will get lots of thumbs down?

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I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

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What is funnier than this joke? Jokes with higher ratings.

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A man walks into a bar and asks "Where is your bathroom?" He is directed towards the restroom, where he then covers himself in toilet paper and calls himself a moose.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the farmer cross the road? To pick up the dead chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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