Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart... but the very next day your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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JUSTIN BIEBER IS A FAG

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How many friends did Jeffery have? 0 because he ate them and put them in his fridge.

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A lamp of light That shines so bright Except when it is night A glow up high You wonder why It moves across the sky. What am I? A blogger who posts jokes on AntiJoke.com.

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What do you call an arab with a shemagh on his head and a gun A man who is concerned for his wellbeing and family

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody, because first, pineapples are too small to fit in, and second, you would drown.

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Yo mama is so fat!

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Why were the floors of the movie theaters so sticky? Spilled beverages.

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Why did the disabled man fall of the swing, someone shot him.

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I'm tired of your blind jokes, I just don't see the humor in them........

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What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

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Whats the difference between a ham sandwich and a dead baby sandwich? I don't stomp on my ham sadnwiches with cleats before I eat them.

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Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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385

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being disabled.

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What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

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Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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A violent biker gang walks into a bar to have a few drinks, the bar tender says "I'm sorry we can not serve you here." They then proceed to beat the man violently.

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what do you get when you combine fire and water? alcohol

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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