banana

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Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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What do you call a man who writes anti-jokes? Rhys, because that is my name. thank you

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Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

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What does the Cookie Monster eat? Nothing. The Cookie Monster is not a living, sentient being and does not require sustenance to live.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with her left hand? Because her right hand was tired.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. No he doesn't.

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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how many jews can you fit in an oven? -well zero because the conventional oven cannot fit a full sized human

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An irish man calls a black man a nigger. The offended black man then proceeds to ravenously beat the Irish man's head into a nearby curb.

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A man walks into a bar, it looked like it hurt.

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Roses Are Red Violets are blue A face like yours belong in a zoo Don't worry ill be there too Not in the cage but laughing at you

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What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

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Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

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April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

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A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

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1,984

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, and it's destroying he's family

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A black man walked into a bar. Had a drink, and left.

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"I have been threw the desert with a horse with no no name" wrong the horse, name was no name

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Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck a penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops