What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

thumb_up thumb_down +28

ROB SNIEDER ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS A CAARRRRROT! rated pg-13

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did child's mom cry when he was born? The child had no head.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the moron jump through the window?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

whats black and looks like a bucket a black bucket

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The chicken hesitated to cross the road. It pondered endlessly on the ramifications of not crossing the road, the future jokes that would never have been made. So it crossed the road with no real purpose for others to come up with unique ideas. Just kidding there is no proof that chickens have ever existed. There is proof that Barack Obama is a woman, however.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

The Bible

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why is your face? Because.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Miss Polly had a Dolly who was sick sick sick So she called for the Doctor to come quick quick quick The doctor came with his bag and his hat And he knocked on the door with a rat-tat-tat. He looked at Polly's Dolly and he shook his head. He said she had leprosy and must have all her limbs amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's wrong the a man who can't tell where he is, can't tell where he's going, and doesn't know how to use a map? Downs Syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know your mother is a skank.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Society.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

What is it called when a black man does cocaine? A felony.

thumb_up thumb_down -128

If file gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" then one of the costumers calls the health inspector and he shuts the place down because its not sanitary to have dirty horses in bars.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What do you call a guy that likes men? A: Gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops