An Irishman walked out of a bar. A Frenchman was polite. An Englishman had beautiful teeth.

Paige

Roses are red Violets are blue My dad drinks a lot Help Me

knock knock who's there? bell bell who? bellend

I was in the middle of downloading a porno of two hot girls getting it on, my computer got a virus and crashed.

I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

What did the Neo-Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

A baby seal walked into a club.

a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

Yo mama is so fat!

roses are grey violets are grey im colorblind but your face is still black!!!

Hi

It's a bird! No it's a plane! No you idiots, it's only a cloud.

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

Why are blondes stupid? They are not. Its just in America society has been given that impression through inaccurate and crude jokes.

4 is half the number 8 is.

Q: What did William Wallace say to Beyonce after Taylor Swift's performance? A: Nothing, because William Wallace has been dead for some time now.

Jews...

69

Why was 6 afraid of 7? *cause 7 8 9? NO cause 7 was a nigga!

How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? My dad is dead.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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