What has four legs, and smells when it's wet? A wet dog.

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Why was the kid happy? Because it was his birthday.

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I once had my heart broken by my first true love. I then died, she was convicted of murder and my family grieved over my death.

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my name is Jacob sartorious

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What's silent but deadly? Limnic Eruption.

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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what do you call a kid without arms and legs? Freak

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

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My name is Harry.

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What is the difference between a dead baby in a blender and a rock? There are many differences. One of them is the fact that I don't masturbate to a rock.

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What has feet but cannot walk? What has a beak but cannot peck? What has wings but cannot fly? A dead bird.

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What are vampires favorite drink? Vampires aren't real.

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Cavan keely's the type of guy who drives past hilltown screaming GET IT THE VAN!!

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A young gay man comes out of the closet to his conservative, Christian parents. Everything went better than expected.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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Student; Miss, please may I go toilet? Teacher; Yes, but say your alphabet first. Student; Ok

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family LOLOLOLOLOLOL

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

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What's the difference in a red sports car and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a red sports car in my garage.

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What do you call a man man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? Bob(he is bobbing in the water)

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What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops