what's faster than an asian on a bicylce on payday? many things

thumb_up thumb_down -53

What did the cat say to the elephant? Meow.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

A grasshopper hops into a bar and orders a drink. "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" exclaims the bartender. "You have a Melanoplus Differentialis?" asks the grasshopper. "Yes."

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Why was the T-Rex so bad at math? Cause it was stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will have her institutionalized as soon as they find her.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

There were 3 guys named Sean, Ryan, and Eye. They were best friends. However, things escalated when Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend and Ryan found out. Ryan felt he had to tell Sean that Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend. Ryan went up to Sean and said "Dude, Eye slept with your girlfriend!" Then Sean shot Ryan in the head before Ryan realized what he had said. Game Over

thumb_up thumb_down +46

If you have 5 dollars, and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, you are both very poor.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What was the last thing the clown said to his wife before she died? Rebecca, just stay with me, the ambulance is almost here.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 is your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did the Pope say to the little boy? Look both ways before crossing the street

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Hey I just meet you And this is crazy I took bath salts Your face looks tasty

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Whats worse than eating a worm? Haveing a worm die in your penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

what did the man with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a new hat

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Whats the differense between a pile of dead babies and a Farrari I actually have a Farrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What did the college student say after he failed his test? He didn't say anything, he was a mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Yes!

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Knock knock. Is someone there?

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How to do you kill a blonde? Various methods, most effective of which is firing squad

thumb_up thumb_down +36

When life gives you lemons, take them. Free shit is cool

thumb_up thumb_down +36

69

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What is White over Black? Society.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

3 women are eating popsicles, one is biting, one is licking, and one is sucking, which is married? The one with the wedding ring.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops