What do flowers and people have in common? They both die.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Some woman's like "Make me a sandwich!" Some guy's like "No way!" The woman says "Or I'll rape you!" "Allright. Fine with m... Wait... I thought women didn... I mean couldn.. you know.." "Rape?" "No, eat sandwiches!"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

knock knock whos there Aids, now you've got it

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why was the spoiled girl running from her parents? because they weren't her parents, they were kidnappers and were going to sell her into underground sex trafficking markets where she would probably spend the rest of her life being a slave.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why doesn't Santa Claus change his socks on Christmas Eve? Because he isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Tell me a joke Tell me a joke! TELL ME A JOKE!!! ...Womens Rights

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Hey Lamar, guess what. No Oh ok haha Otarts was here

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What does the rubbish do when it is depressed? It breaks down.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A Jewish man walked into a.............................................................................................................................................. ................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................car

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the toaster say to the raisin? Nothing. The toaster was mute and the raisin had lost his hearing in a terrible full-contact origami accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what hurts more than a stab wound? two stab wounds

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Joker2? Who comes up with the names anyways? Sounds like a stupid version of the matrix... Anyways, I stutter because my nerves are killing me, I cant quit the painkillers cold turkey if I cant sleep without them, besides I am used to physical pain as tragic as that might sound... Its not when you get used to it. I need to know who this Neo-Nero was, for anyone that can tell me, he is not around here at these hours, and during the time he/she I was dead, did considerable damage to my and my orders reputation, I need a face to face talk to someone that would put aside my chosen successor and assume my role, and I wont let that happen again even if it means bruising up this Neo-me a bit.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q. How many jews can you fit in a car? A. depending on the car size and make, oh and the size of the ash tray is also important

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock Knock. Whose there. We have a warrant for your arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's black and hangs from tree's? A suicidal black man.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It got shot. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do Connecticut school kids get at Christmas? Shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How does santa deliver presents? He doesn't, because he's not real!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Little Johnny asks his teacher "What's 23 times 3?" She yelled, "Be quiet, Johnny, and grow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

they call me the green lantern because my little sister died in chemical fire

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did Jane get pregnant Because she bought a man's semen and put it in her vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A man walked into a bar. Ow!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops