- Anti Joke

A man is on a date. His philandering causes a bitter divorce.

Luck is not real. But the dismembered body in my basement is.

Why do white people go to black people's yard sales? Because they know they sale good quality stuff -Travis

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everyone. - Blake Woodman

roses are red violets are blue i am muslim

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of problems with money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

What's black, dangerous and sits in a tree ? A crow, with a machine gun !

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

yous are all f u c k i n g dumb like rat kavanagh

what do you call a black person in the dark? ........invisible

Knock Knock Who's there? No one. You're imagining things.

What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

why does Chuck Norris never get wet in the rain? Because he has a very serviceable umbrella

Your mama is so fat she suffered from diabetes and died of heart failure .

Why did the wife leave her husband? Because they were having sexual differences and time restraints. The husband worked nightshifts as a nurse while the woman stayed home and took care of their child. The husband confessed he never wanted a child in the first place, and that having sexual intercourse with her didn't truly satisfy him.

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

Hi

Why did the man fall of the building? Someone shot both of his kneecaps.

Siete inglesi quindi non sapete nemmeno cosa c'è scritto ? Succhiacapre che non siete altro.

From the makers of Call of Duty 1, comes Call of Duty 2.

What do you call a black cop? Officer.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Can you pass the soda? Sure.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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