What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting raped mercilessly by Ronald McDonald.

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So a chef, a soldier, and a lawyer are riding in a plane. The pilot has a heart attack and they all die.

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Why did the surfer surf in the ocean without a surfboard? Either he was mentally challenged, simply dreaming, a fish, or most likely did not have a surfboard.

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Knock knock. Come in.

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Doctor doctor, I came here as quickly as possible, it was just the nearest place I could find. My dog he... he's panting and bleeding and I don't know what to do I think he's dying and I just want him to hold on... Please... Well then go to a vet you stupid shit.

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why did the chicken cross the road??? I don't know, that's why I asked you -_-

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come out with your hands up.

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So a blonde woman gets into her car. She then drives to the grocery store because she is hungry and wants to buy food to make her dinner.

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why did the disabled man go to the shops? because he wanted a radiator panel

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What's a black man's favorite food? It depends.

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what happens when u mix a car, a blimp and a plane? I don't know.

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What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

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What did the fat man do when someone told him he was fat? He kept eating, for he was deaf.

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whats green and has wings ? a flying patch of astro turf

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

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What did the tuna say to the fan I LIKE YOUR STOOL AHAHHAHAHHAHAH

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Why was there a black guy in the back of a police car? He was caught stealing

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Knock Knock Who's there? the mailman.

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your momma is so fat that she thinks someone hugs her each time she passes through a door

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Why did the dog cross the road? He saw a fish.

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What's black and white and red all over? A bloody zebra.

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Why can't Anne Frank drive? Because she's dead.

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A priest, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar. They proceed to have an in-depth conversation about interfaith dialogue and no one questions the imam orders of non-alcoholic beverages.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops