The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. He values his privacy and will not tell me his motives.

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Luke Hardie is G@Y

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What did little jimmy get for Christmas? A box containing the malevolent soul of a 10,000 year-old demon determined to torment his cat.

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If you are riding on a broomstick and it breaks in the middle of the ocean... How many pieces of toast does it take to fill a light house? Purple, because Oranges cannot fly.

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what's brown and sticky? A stick

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What's worse than a car going backwards on the highway? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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What do you call a man man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? Bob(he is bobbing in the water)

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What's the difference between a black man and a bicycle? ( I don't know. ) You're so racist.

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Why did the boy want to commit suicide? Because he didn't want to die.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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What do you call a dog eating a dead dog? A hungry dog

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What is the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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whats white and gooy liguid goop

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What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

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What did the little boy get for christimas? Nothing because he's a selfish asshole.

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What do you call an African American on the moon? An astronaut

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Whats the difference between a frog?

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det va en tjej som va inne på ica och handlade, framme vid kassan la hon fram en banan, en billys pizza, ett litet paket bröd och en mjölk. -är du singel eller? frågar killen i kassan -ja hur visste du det, svarar hon -du e skitful ju

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor"

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8====D~~~~~~

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What do you call it when you lend money to a bison? Unitelligent, because bison do not have the ability to purchase things with money so it will most likely just eat the money.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Jupiter is the Galaxys biggest planet!

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A man walks into his doctor's office He says: ''Doctor, I have said goodbeye to my family and friends and I have decided to take the pills you offered me and die peacefully in my sleep, I won't suffer any longer from my disease''. The doctor answers: ''You are in luck, we still have a few of them left''

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops