I scream. You scream. We all scream and huddle in a corner of our first grade classroom because of a masked gunman.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What's the difference between sheetrock and drywall? A: nothing. It's just two names for the same thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What black and white and red all over? A panther I was lying about the red and white.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the blonde walk into the wall? I lied it was nathaniel nugnes

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q. how do you get 50 babies into a bowl? A. blender Q. how do you get them out of the bowl? A. Doritos

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats the easiest way to kill a blonde? Shoot her

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender shoots him.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo mamma's so fat it's a legitimate medical condition

thumb_up thumb_down +1

there is a mexican and a black guy in the back of a car, who is driving? The cop

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was 2 afraid of 3? Because 345!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did one black man say to the other black man? hello

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was Jimmy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Miranda Cosgrove's singing career. ......Thats it. Thats the joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you say to man with no hands. How do you feel.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly shits on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two tomatoes walk across the street and manage to get over safely. COME ON MUSTARD!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A Squirrel gets ready for hybernation. 21 You Stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many gays does it take to change a light bulb? 1, even if hes not happy im sure he would still be able to change it.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N Porn.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Chuck Norris once walked into a strip club, and had quite a nice time indeed!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops