person: Knock knock. Me: Who's there? person: A Hipster. Me: False.

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A horse walks into a bar, realizes that he shouldnt be here so he walks out.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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What happens when two jews meet in the bus ? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it's not worth telling a joke about that.

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There are two types of people in the world: humans

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Q: If Hitler spots a jew, what will he do? A: You suck at history dude, Hitler is dead! Moral: What? You did not get the daily news?

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How do you fit a homosexual man into a small card board box? You cut him into pieces.

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Knock knock Who's there? Your neighbor. I just ran over your cat.

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A white man walking dpwn the street finds a brief-case with a timer on it. A young muslim man says he dropped it. The white man then asked "What's the timer for"? The young man said, "Nothing really, just helps keep the time." They both went their separate ways.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? Probably one. Replacing a light-bulb is a pretty simple task which any person (regardless of ethnicity) should be able to do without assistance.

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What's a black person's favorite thing to eat? Food.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He loved working with tourists.

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I like my women like I like my coffee, without a dick

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This is a joke

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What's the difference between a baby and a mushroom? One is delicious, the other is a mushroom.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I am a dog

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Your mother was a hamster, And your father smelt of ElderBerries!

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

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why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

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What did Stephen Hawkins say to President Obama? He didn't his computer did.

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Me and my pet lion just took a trip to his homeland of africa. It is also worthwhile to note I'm a chronic liar.

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Police Officer: Please step out of the car, sir Jimmy: Xbox...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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