I may have alzheimers...Thank god I dont have alzheimers

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A mans opinion.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the man say to the woman he was in love with? Sure, I understand and I'm okay with being just friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

See now that is confident and down to earth, reasonable, and all the etc etc`s, so what would you like me to fill them in with? Joking aside, you are smart, funny, you take a beating (sorry that`s today`s new low point, I have never hit a woman and never will, sure I punched down the GigaLesb when she lifted me up and my spine started making cracking noises, but that does not technically count as a woman). You are sweet, you are cute, you are funny, you are hot hot hot (hattrick see?), and yeah yeah if you want me to prove to people here that we know each other, sure, I met you once like 15 years ago? You kinda adored me, I could not take my eyes of yours (oh yeah, you got adorable eyes sure), and... You got huge breasts (Tits are more like those hanging you know what I mean) Sigh sometimes a boy wonders what he is doing with his life, he falls for the strangest girls... ...AND THEN SAID BOY FINDS HIMSELF BROKEN IN TWINE BY ME!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are Red Violets are Blue The end is near I want a beer

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

So there were two... sigh... I hate my life....

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A guy says a joke. It was not funny

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? It fell.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A woman is on an escalator, which stops, then she cries. Why? The escalator is in a hospital and stops because the power has failed. She was going to visit her husband who is on life support, which has now but out.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your mother is so fat when she jumps she comes backs down.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run, 'cause she's got a grenade in her mouth!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL

thumb_up thumb_down +7

One day, John ate some food. He quickly realized he had an upsetting feeling in his stomach, so he stopped eating food and used the restroom. Then he drew a picture.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply because he was incapable of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Wanna go bike riding?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop!? thats what she said

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a flying jew? Smoke.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many wooden chairs can a black man staple to a whales forehead? 27 because Helen Keller does not like blueberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happens when a rabbit is late for a very important date? Nothing, rabbits have no logical way to keep track of time.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Dogs in my home.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's funnier than 68? Will ferrel

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops