once upon a time there was a boy

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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Tell you something funny.

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was tied to the first Monkey. Why did the third Monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

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What are the two biggest jokes in College Football? Auburn and Florida! Roll Tide!

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What does a Chinese girl get for Christmas? New parents...

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What do you call a guy with no hands working in a hat store? larry

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A black man, a Asian, and a Jew fell into a pit and because of a lack of water they all died.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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Why is it impossible to travel faster than the speed of light? Because it travels pretty darn fast.

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You're so ugly you got rejected from the zoo.

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I'm a boy... I like hamburgers... Xbox is my favorite activity.... I have a dog... My dad is cheap... He's my doctor, my dentist, and my mom... Haha get it?

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What do you call a dozen Muslims waiting to board a train? Passengers...you racist.

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Whats worse than your shoe being untied? 911

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What's round and bounces A basketball No!!!!!!! You dummy!!! Then what? Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What was jesus's first miracle? He made a blind man walk. And for the stupid people out there jesus's first supposed miracle was making a cripple Walk

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Why was the guy sad? His son killed himself after being constantly bullied for 6 years.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A fat guy. - Louis

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Why'd the man go to jail? Because he had a piece of cheese.

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There was once a boy named Swan, But then they built Autobahn.

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Why did the cow cross the road? He was in the moooooooood.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the results of his AIDS test

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Why does the gay person where a leather motorcycle suit? Because he drives motorcycles.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side . Unfortunately , there was a car accident and shrapnel from the explosion [caused by gas on fire] cut his head off causing the old woman to faint , and later die a horrible death .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops