"your momma's so fat that she died in her sleep last night," said the doctor. "There was nothing we could do."

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Shoot her in the head repeatedly

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A: Knock Knock B: ...

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Why does little susie enjoy her life? Because it was her birthday 364 days ago.

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the WNBA

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Why don't you play uno with Mexicans? Because they collect all the green cards.

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Whats worse than 1 bee sting... 2 bee stings Whats worse than 2 bee stings... The hollacaust Whats worse than the hollacaust... 3 BEE STINGS!!!

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Nickleback walks into a bar..... There isn't a punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

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Why did Suzie fall off her swing? She was dead

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Two men walk into a bar. It turns out the bar was a lever and set off a bomb. They both died.

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What's the difference between a tomato and a rhinoceros? Neither of them can ride a bicycle.

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The frightened girl did everything the man said. " Open your legs. Bend over..." She was playing Simon says and was afraid to loose. It wasn't rape, which her sister had experienced while traveling in 2007.

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whats long and hard on a black man? his femur.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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Why didn't the boy have any toes? - Because he did not have any legs.

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What do you call a taxi driver eating on a gourmet restaurant? A taxi driver.

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I died shortly after writing this.

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What's black and white and red all over it? Not a newspaper because red is not all over it. Answers to this question may vary.

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What drink is dark yellow and freshly squeezed from one of the most healthy snacks? Piss.

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I like my women the way I like my coffee: Without a penis.

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Two bananas are walking down the street. One says, "Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" The other banana says, "Wait a minute, fruit can't talk." The second banana turns into a dove and promptly flies away.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Herpes, Now you do too.

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Your mother was a hamster, And your father smelt of ElderBerries!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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