Chuck Norris doesn't answer the phone - he doesn't have one at the moment

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I was born.

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What's the difference between Vagisil and Black People? They are disgusting!

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When I exited the hospital one day, I spotted a sign saying "Come back soon!" Soon afterwards I saw people protesting to ban dihydrogen monoxide. The next day on tv I saw an ad for a solar powered lightbulb. Then I saw a Gun control poster. I cried, this being the dumbest thing I had seen yet, and the world was certainly doomed due to humanity's general stupidity. I saw a chicken crossing a packed road. Why did the chicken feel the urge to cross the road?

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A man walks into a bar and says "I'd like a beer."

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How do you you know when you haven't slept in a while? You're tired.

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A dolphin walks into a bar. Dolphins do not have legs therefore this is physically impossible.

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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What do you call a black man at the head of the U.S.? A mistake.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? I like Pie. I like Pie who? What do you mean who? Pie isn't a person, it's a thing.

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A black guy walks into a bar... *3 hours later* He walks out...

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What is red and has seven dents? Snow White's Cherry.

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David Silberberg is gay

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of problems with money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Why was the duck in jail? For Smoking...Quack!!

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What did Frankenstein say to Dracula? Hey, that's a nice cape.

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Oh," the boy says. "Well BUENOS DIAS to you too!!!

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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What is Soulja Boy's favorite letter? I don't know. You go ask him.

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text this number 2066191208 saying i wanna rape you

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So this beautiful woman goes to see her doctor and says "Doctor i think i have a fever." the doctor replies "I think I've got just what you need. open your mouth." The woman opened her mouth and the doctor gave her some Advil "This should help your fever. that will be $300." in shock the woman said "these prices are to high."

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's.

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how do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? with a blender. how do you get them back out of the bowl? with tortila chips.

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A black man, a white man, and a Mexican walk into a bar. The bartender kicks them out because he doesn't have time for another crappy joke; as the bar is very crowded that night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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