What is the difference between a dead baby in a blender and a rock? There are many differences. One of them is the fact that I don't masturbate to a rock.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? Sitting on a black man is just plain rude.

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Why did osama bin laden cross the road? To commit suicide

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because the walk sign said to

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? He didn't either.

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what does a man with no leg say to a woman with one eye? hello. by Mad James

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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ow

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What did the man with the knife say to the ostrich? Run or I'll stab you!

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What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

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What are the two biggest jokes in College Football? Auburn and Florida! Roll Tide!

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Why didn't the black guy where a seat belt? I don't know but he should've because hes dead.

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Men, get on the boat.

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IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken crossed the road accidentaly as chickens are absent minded.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Jupiter is the Galaxys biggest planet!

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how do 2 gay guys walk... one pounces into the others butt

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Q:How many babies does it take to paint a room? A:It depends how hard you throw them

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Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

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Today is my birthday.... Goodbye cruel world

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What's the difference between a model and a baby? I didn't have sex with a model last night.

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What's black,white, and red all over? Nothing, because if it is completely covered in red then it can only be red.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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