There was this cat, and he was walking down this long road, knowing a dog lived on 45 lake avenue. So the cat was very careful while walking by that house so the dog and his diqqas wouldnt chase the cat, named pat. So like a rogue in the arathi basen lodge, he made his way over the stone wall and ran as quickly as he could through the muddy path of dirt. This cat was also swagged out of control, so he had mad bitches. That is where Pat was heading....... to his mad bitches. He had never met these bitches, but bought them offline on a p0rn website that said he would become the man if he purchased the mad hot bitches. When he found the bitches, he shit himself. The bitches were female dogz. if you read this whole paragraph, a fraction of your soul has been ripped out of you. UMAD? ˜´??

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Tom and Phill are eating ice cream Tom challenges Phill to a contest to see who can eat their ice cream in one bite Tom finishes his in two bites Phil in one Then he looks like he got a brain freeze Tom notices and says "You idiot: you got brain freeze!" Phill turns around and says "No, I have a brain tumor."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A mans opinion.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence? Hopefully it made it over without lacerating its underbelly, thus causing fatal bleeding.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Could switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats red with blue spots and is highly inteligent? an apple. i lied to you and am sorry

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the rapper Proof say when he got in a fight? Nothing, Proof is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do you get when you cross a man and a horse? Collision

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why do jews have long noses? Because they received the genetic alleles from their parents that cause the nose to grow longer.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What does a bartender say to almost all of his customers? May I please see your I.D.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There once was a man from nantucket. But he moved to California after he won the State lottery.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Haitian walks into a bar. It collapses.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the mentally challenged man enter the bar? He's tired of being subject hate and criticism. He hates being the subject of jokes and being pointed at. He may not be able to tell you what 3x6 is, but he still has feelings. So because of all these inconsiderate people judging him, he now spends his days at the local bar, drowning his sorrows away in alcohol. I hope your happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is Adam saying numbers? He is a maths teacher.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Anal

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a bar Then another man shoots him in the head because he has anger issues.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound? I don't know... Does the deaf woman locked in my basement?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An Irish man walks into a bar. He then sits down and enjoys his favorite drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did your mom cross the street? She didn't. She was a home. Making me a sandwhich.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you get if you take the head off a Koala and a Wombat and swap them around? A bloody mess and about 4 years in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why is the little boy so smart? He tries in school and hes asian

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Directions- I would be lost without you. Thank you for always being there for me.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops