your mum

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what do you call a grown man who sticks food up his nose? retarded

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a black midget with no legs and has 11 fingers? A human being

thumb_up thumb_down -6

As little Timmy crossed the finish line his heart raced with excitement he had just won the big race. Later he and his family went home to celebrate they had pizza and chips and soft drinks. Then they played scrabble and watched spiderman 2. After that Timmy went to sleep. When his parents found him that morning they mourned and mourned because their hero little Timmy was still asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock knock. Who's there? Apple. Apple who? Apple juice.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did I do last night?work

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why was the boy sad? because he was raped by a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What has feet but cannot walk? What has a beak but cannot peck? What has wings but cannot fly? A dead bird.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the man not go to church? He was an atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the boy sitting alone? Because all his friends died.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

sometimes i wonder why is the frisbee getting bigger? then it hits me

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the house do when it came alive? It went home

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? NOT SALLY

thumb_up thumb_down -8

roses are red, violets are violet.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The man asks the blind man "where ya going"b The Blind man replies "i dont know".

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a fat indian boy Eeeeeeeh fatty boy

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a snail driving a boat? An accident waiting to happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A redhead walks into a hairdressing salon and asks to have her hair dyed black due to being a subject of bullying and social rudeness.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

No thank you, I don't like violence

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why do blondes where pigtails? Because they look nice.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops