Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Whats worse than finding a spider in your shower? Getting repeatedly stabbed in the dick by a rapid chipmunk.

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Did you know there is a whole country occupied with twins? It's called China

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Many people of many races do many things every day.

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When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world as they wonder how you did it

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Q: Why did the little Canadian girl start crying ? A: Because her mum through a fridge at her.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your moms face is turning purple. I'm coming for you.

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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Q:How many babies does it take to paint a room? A:It depends how hard you throw them

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What's red and smells like a rose? Bumble-bees licking honey off of a stick.

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Why wasn't the black guy allowed into the bar? Because the bar was closed.

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YOUIR MAMA IS SO UGLY THAT SHE MIGHT WANT TO LOOK INTO PLASTIC SURGERY TO BETTER HER APPEARENCE

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why did the iraqi woman bury her wedding ring in the ground? because it's the only way she could properly pay respect to the death of her husband who recently died in a group suicide bombing.

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Q. You know what sucks A. Being an orphan

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There's a plane with 5000 bricks in it, one falls out. How many bricks are on the plane now? 4999 How do you get an elephant in the fridge? U open the fridge,put the elephant in and close the fridge. How do you get a deer in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out and close the fridge. A lion is trowing a party and the whole animal kingdom shows up, what animal isn't there? The deer cause he's still in the fridge. A little old lady is walking threw an alligator and snake invested swamp. *The snakes and alligators eat her (wrong answer) The brick falls on her head

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What has feet but cannot walk? What has a beak but cannot peck? What has wings but cannot fly? A dead bird.

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How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? 23

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When life throws you lemons, duck.

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Why didn't the black guy where a seat belt? I don't know but he should've because hes dead.

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What kind of fire alarm does a zebra not like? One that doesn't work

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Are you gay? No. Ok.

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What happened when the boys visited Penn State? They got toured around campus and decided that it would be their future college.

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The Pope

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Two people are walking down the street, unaware of the highly polluted environment and that they could save a life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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