A man walks into a bar and walks up to the counter. The bartender looks the man up and down and asks "Can I help you?" "Ya, get this guy off my ass" the duck promptly replies.

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What did Jesus say last before being nailed to the cross? I don't know, It never happened. ...Why did he say that? He didn't, it's not real.

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Tom and Phill are eating ice cream Tom challenges Phill to a contest to see who can eat their ice cream in one bite Tom finishes his in two bites Phil in one Then he looks like he got a brain freeze Tom notices and says "You idiot: you got brain freeze!" Phill turns around and says "No, I have a brain tumor."

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm blind.

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What did the fat girl say to the good looking guy? Nothing. She didn't have the self-confidence to go up to him.

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A cup of ranch walks into a lemon

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Why is Islam the fastest growing religion? Because black people breed like rats.

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yo mama so fat she has diabetes.

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- How breakdance was invented? - A certain black man was trying to stole rims from moving car.

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girls basketball

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What did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? Leukemia.

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Why did the cow jump over the moon ? This is a highly unlikely situation , therefore the cow did not leave its humble pasture , let alone talk english while in the midst of jumping over a planet wich takes days to fly over .

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Mirror mirror on the wall. Why can't I see?

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a lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for directions. the Bartender takes him into a room and rapes-him

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Potassium? K.

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Why did they bury the pope on the side of the hill? Because he is dead

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Why did the bus crash? What, you were expecting an answer? I was asking you

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Could switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? Yes.

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Did y'all see Lafell catch that pass? Neither did I

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Two Jews walk into a bank. They make a deposit and leave.

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On a scale from Casey Anthony to Sandusky, how much do you like children?

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The class valedictorian is about to give his speech to the class. He has 6 fingers total, he is missing an ear, his left nostril is burned shut, and he must walk on crutches because of the severe injury to his left knee. How does the extremely cruel Principal of the school introduce him? "Please welcome Gregory Barnes, a brave soul that conquered a battle against death itself an won".

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Once upon a time there was a nice old man who loved to ride his bike... He unfortunately died when he had a heart attack.

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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