"Knock, Knock," a man called out. A child threw open the door and peered out at him. "Why didn't you just knock instead of saying 'knock knock'?" Flustered, the man couldn't come up with an answer, and the child promptly closed the door, locked it, and returned to her previous activities.

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What is a chair?

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Q: What do you call a Deer with no eyes? A: No ideer. Q; What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? A: Still no ideer.

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What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she lost her balance.

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How did the gay guy greet the other gay guy? Nice to meet you.

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Why can't Brent speak at the moment? Because he is eating his ice-cream.

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How do you make transportation in Harlem easier? Fix the roads and put in more stoplights.

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Did y'all see Lafell catch that pass? Neither did I

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Billy. Billy who? Billy your next door neighbor, I need to borrow some sugar. Ok, come in.

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knock knock! who's there? a fat salesperson here to deliver your supplements

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What is an old ginger lady's favorite type of bread? Whole wheat.

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An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

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Why do women have boobs? So they can feed their newborn children without paying for expensive formula

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Turnabout: American study of the Japanese Stereotype man: Murican: Excuse me Mr Japanese. Jap: The answer is within the heart of battle.. Murican: Yes but I just want to ask you some few questions. Jap: You are disturbing my feng shui I must power of the mystical fireball of surge fist energy get... *uppercuts waterfall BECAUSE REASONS!* Murican: What? But this is a serious study! Jap: Sowwy I do nothe speeky the shamefull language of the engrish! Murican: But you just said... Sigh... Conclusion: Carpet bombing of Japan funding increased. "slap a Jap" commercial project from world war two reinstated for the safety of the American people. Experiment two: The study of a American man raised in Japan. Murican: Hello I wonder if... American raised in japan: GADOUKEN GADOUKEN GADOUKEN! ORA ORA! Murican: Dead/KO. American/Japan: FRAWRESS VICTOLY! Result: World war 3 GET!

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what is the difference between Stephani and a whale? A whale is skinnier... get the harpoonns

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your momma's so fat i almost didn't have sex with her.... almost.

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If life throws you melons, not only might you be dyslexic, but you are probably also uneducated, since the phrase is "if life gives you lemons".

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Me-Whats long and hard and full of seaman Him-a submarine Me-No dumb ass a dick

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How do you drown a down syndrome child? Put him/her into water.

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How did the blonde get Lost in her house? Netflix.

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I ponder

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I pooped.

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Why does the man with no legs call for help? because he woke up to find that he had no legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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