What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when the elephants were coming? Here come the elephants! What did Jane say when the elephants were coming? Here come the plums! (She was color blind.)

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What did the Bishop say to the pebble? Wash my car

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If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? A testicle

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What has wheels and flies? A wheel that I have altered so it can fly

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Oh yeah? Well you're as gay as this joke!

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Kid: knock knock Orphan: whos there? Kid: not your parents

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One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

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What did the hungry man do? He ate.

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How are trees and friends alike? They are both subject to fall when struck with an axe.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? yea, neither has he.

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What is black and white and red all over? a nun that got raped.

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What kind of cheese is not you cheese? Not your cheese.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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A blonde and a brunette are stuck on a desert island, they later died of starvation.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Bob.

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Why did the surfer surf in the ocean without a surfboard? Either he was mentally challenged, simply dreaming, a fish, or most likely did not have a surfboard.

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A man walks into a bar. After several hours of drinking and loud unintellegable outbursts to those around him, the man wonders off to a nearby bus stop and relieves himself. He is now a registered sex offender.

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Why did the kid fall off his swing? Because his mum threw a fridge at him.

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911 joke ? now thats just plane rude.

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What's big, black and hard to swallow? A bowling ball.

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A zombie walks into a bar. It was shot by an M16 automatic rifle. The video game had zombies.

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yo mama so fat she has diabetes.

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How do you make Chuck Norris cry? Kill his family.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Luke. Luke who? Leukemia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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