What did the Bishop say to the pebble? Wash my car

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If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? A testicle

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One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when the elephants were coming? Here come the elephants! What did Jane say when the elephants were coming? Here come the plums! (She was color blind.)

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What do blacks and the night have in common? Their both worse than when it's light

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What's the difference between a duck? Nothing, they're both the same.

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How are trees and friends alike? They are both subject to fall when struck with an axe.

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What is black and white and red all over? a nun that got raped.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? yea, neither has he.

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What did the hungry man do? He ate.

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How you your turn a trashcan into a semi-automatic AK-47? You don't. But ask the irishman who just said "hello" to you.

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What did OJ Simpson say to the blonde? "Don't worry, I'm not going to murder you"

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Why did John kill Maris? Because Maris killed his family.

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What did the gay man do last night? Had a curry

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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Why did the surfer surf in the ocean without a surfboard? Either he was mentally challenged, simply dreaming, a fish, or most likely did not have a surfboard.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Bob.

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A blonde and a brunette are stuck on a desert island, they later died of starvation.

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A man walks into a bar. After several hours of drinking and loud unintellegable outbursts to those around him, the man wonders off to a nearby bus stop and relieves himself. He is now a registered sex offender.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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A short Irish man and a tall German man went skydiving. Both parachutes coincidentally failed to deploy and they died.

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why did the disabled man go to the shops? because he wanted a radiator panel

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Why was the black man escorted from the bar? Because the bartender was racist.

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What did he African say when he had diarrhea? Shit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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